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wendylou2007's journal
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So I haven't updated in a while.
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School – I am lacking any type of motivation at this moment. Last day is May 25th for seniors (later than most area schools). Oh well, shit happens. Sociology… my society is good this time. Tess is in it J WOO! Adv. Physics… pissed about the trip. Band … first chair, hard/fun songs. I have solos again J. AP Lit… kind of hard at the moment. I have an entire book to read by Monday, that I don’t really want to read. Song of Solomon. Journalism… hard doing like four stories at once… but FUN!! I call a couple people everyday in that class from the school phone or my cell phone. Honours Government is hard like normal, but kind of interesting. I like some of the kinds in it like the junior guys joey, kyle, adam, todd, cody, adam. Yeah… Honours Economics is hard a shit, and I hate that class. I sit up front by Brent. Him and Kyle are my only “friends” in that class. SCHOOL SUCKS… DROP OUT! JK! J Soccer – Fun. A lot of hard work. Defense of seniors rocks! Offense needs some work. Upcoming games will be posted in away messages/AIM info… or just ask. Come out and watch a game or two. I don't want this to be the last season playing for hs :(. Work – Boring, but good $$. I close Wednesday. I can’t really work much until after May 25th, but this summer will be ridiculous. I’m working there 5 days a week in the evenings, so I’m trying to find a daytime job too. I’ve got one kind of lined up, but I don’t really “want” to work there. Oh well, we shall see. Come visit me sometime when I'm working!! The Corona Smoke Shop on West and Wildwood! My cousin’s wife just had her baby today! Evan Craddock. :-D Babysitting – I hate babysitting for three little brats (3 boys 1,3,5.5). Oh well, they are my boss’ kids… so I am kind of obligated, ya know?!... and they pay pretty dang well. Oh... and it brings back the memories of playdoe (sp?) JCC – I now have NO idea what I want to major in @ JCC this coming fall. My uncle won’t let me go into what I wanted to, nor would Nick. Oh well. God Damnit. I don’t know what I want to do. I don’t want to transfer after JCC though, so I better come up with something I can bear (sp?) and just do it and get it over with. Ya know?! Any ideas? Graduation – I can’t wait to get out of Western High. The school is going down the drain. Teachers are resigning and “freshening” up their resumes. Oh well. I’m out of there in another few weeks. WOO!! Will I really have to talk to and see the people I don’t like ever again!? I sure as hell hope not. I hope to make new friends, but since I’m only going to JCC, I don’t know if that’ll really happen. Guys – So God damn complicated. What does my future have in store for me? Should I let someone else plan out my life? Should I just be patient and see where it takes me? Well here’s a heads up, I am not a patient person. For the most part I know what I want out of life, the question now is… do you? I don’t know who I want to share the rest of my life with. Many say I’m too young to be thinking about that. However, I am not going to wait until I’m 25/30 to get married and have children. Sorry. I am not that patient. I wanna be Your everything, but I don’t know if that’s possible. Is it feasible with being friends even? Either way I’ll remember You, but will you me? I want to hold You close to keep You next to Me. I just want to fall asleep with You. This Conversation is Over for Now… Good Night.
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The past couple of weeks have been rough. A lot of fighting with various people. Though, it has been nice in some other aspects. Spring Break ’07. WOO… got to love working. School. Seven more weeks. Thirty something days. Hmph. Graduation. My speech is not done. Uht oh. Guess I won’t do it. I don’t want a grad. party, but I’m being forced, and a joint one @ that. Soccer season. Woo! We’re 1-1-1 right now with our three scrimmages. Hmph! Jackson High @ Home April 10th @ 7! (pending The Panther Bowl field condition). I got a new knee brace!!! And head gear… gag… Work. I’m already tired of going. The $$ is nice, but sheesh. It’s annoying too because I HAVE to take a shower after work before I can go anywhere because I smell like tobacco, cigars, and smoke… badly. Gag. I think I am running out of time. Time shall tell?! I don't know anymore. When will You Love Me? What do I have to do for things to change? He’s the only one that makes Me smile anymore. Yeah, I’m out… Peace.
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Some things never change. I shouldn’t have to pick one of my best friends over a guy. Or should I? I shouldn’t have to do something I don’t want to, or believe in. Or should I? Some things just never change about someone. …Or do they? Sometimes I do need “rescuing”. So what?! Now days it’s rare to find me in a good mood. I wonder why that is. Now days it’s rare to find me relaxed and not tense. I wonder why that is. I don’t want to go home most nights. Thursday night - first night in a long time I was relaxed and felt loved… for who I am. Every now and then you just need to escape. Know what I mean? My Goals... Dreams... Non-existant.... What does the future bring? So I was sitting in my car. Thinking whether I should leave or not. Soon after, I sped away. Later on in the drive. My phone goes off. I look at the name. As I answer the phone I smile. The little things like that, brighten my day and make me smile. I wonder if they know how much it means to me that they just call. Whether it is to simply say hello, or to hang out, etc… Hmm. I don’t know what will become of the future. Time shall tell. Okay, this probably makes no sense to you, but oh well. It’s my v.e.n.t. of the day. There was gunna be more, but I’m tired. Bye.
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Not really much to say at the moment, but I have not updated in a while.
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Space. It’s a good thing. Love. It’s a good thing. I figured things out. It’s for the best I think. Maybe it’s a mistake? Only time will tell. I guess I shall see. How will he react? Will things go back to the way they were? Will things work out for the best? Time will tell. Nothing really is new. Soccer – actual practice starts Monday. First scrimmage is on Thursday v. Jxn Christian. Second scrimmage is Wed. vs. School – grades are up. That’s exciting. Work – going well. The end. Okay… so I have to babysit all day tomorrow for my boss’ little boys… so I’m going to go to bed, I’m tired…. Maybe things will work out in the long run?!
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Bleh!! It's only Wednesday!! Soccer, Work and School. Soccer = tryouts are pointless. Well for seniors that is. We all are going to make the team so it's a waste of my time. Especially when we scrimmage with the underclassmen who... (finding nice words)... aren't as skilled as the upperclassmen. Ah well. Monday was 7-10 inside. Yesterday was 415-645 outside @ Galliger. That was pretty nice out. 73 degrees. Sweet! Work = learning/learned the register. Spring Break I am going to be working a couple days (evening) by myself. AHHH! I just need to figure out how to do credit cards and debits better... and just in general be able to do it faster. I'm tellin' ya, it's a busy place! There's ALWAYS people in it. School = Teachers are annoying. they really need to learn to put grades in the computer. Mr. Nicholai lost a paper of mine worth 40 points and this was his reply "in my 20 some years of teaching, i have only lost one paper, so you need to find it and stop blaming it on me" ... wait is he kidding?! Asshole. Therefore I have a "D" in there... Mrs. Rapert is a slow grader, I have a "D" because she hasn't put in a test yet, or graded two HORRIBLE essays of mine. I have about 3.5 weeks to up my grades. Oh and I have a "B-" in Honours Economics. Dude... that's a HARD class! Okay, enough bitching about school. I am annoyed with certain people. I'm tired of fighting about stupid shit. I think have a solution for one of them, but I'm not sure. I'm going to have to think about it for a while. Oh, I love getting calls from him. I love getting facebook messages from him. Well, I need to get around for school now. Leave Love.
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So... yeah. Things aren't going much better. I don't really know what to do. I'm going insane and being miserable. let me tell ya, it's NOT fun. My week next week: Monday - Thursday: School until 234. Work 3-630. Soccer tryouts 7-10. Homework after. Friday: School until 234. Soccer tryouts 7-10. Last indoor soccer game tomorrow @ The Summit. We are 4-3 right now I think. That's sad... but it means outdoor is starting soon!!! WOO!!! how are people's perception of things so different?! I just don't get how he doesn't see how he's making me feel/be. Whatever. Time... Time is a virtue, or so I have been told. Well, I've gotta' go... more later when I get a chance alone. l3av3 l0\/3. Friday was fun. :) At least I know we'll always be something.
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i'll do anything to keep you right here w/ me... Hmph. i'm tired so that's all for random stuff. lots of soccer and running lately! i love it.. oh and taibo!!!!! I'M FINALLY 18 :) okay good night.
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hmmmmmmmmmmm.....
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sick
restless
sleepy
cranky
peaceful
tired
exhausted